Pagan Humor, otherwise known as the jokes only a little over 0.2% of those in the US get.
First I would like to direct you all over to the Pagan Humor Library. Which has many pages like the two shared below.
The Safe Witch Kit (which actually has some great ideas, lol)
Want to be a Witch, yet don't want dangerous items in your home? We've assembled this comprehensive kit to meet the beginning Witch's needs, without compromising safety.Exclusive! The incredible Collapse-a-Wand! Hand-wrought of authentic wood-grained expanded foam, with a special adhesive patch for attaching the Power Stone of your choice (see below).
2 Battery-operated Candles (1 black, 1 white). No more concerns about flowing gowns catching fire.
1 package Glade Stick-ems. Fresh, floral scent, without the concerns of burning incense. No messy ash to clean up!
1 shaker Mrs. Dash. Get all the flavor and zip of salt, without the sodium!
1 Quality Fold-a-Cauldron. Easy-to-assemble, genuine simulated cast iron corrugated material. Complete instructions.
1 Fabric Rainbow Disk. No sharp corners to be concerned about. The perfect centerpiece for your own Altar. No worries of offending anyone, as could happen with those misunderstood pentagrams.
3 Assorted colors soft vinyl "Power Stones." Focus the energy of crystals. Perfect for attaching to your Collapse-a-Wand!(Choking hazard. Not recommended for children under 3 years of age)
1 Booklet, "How to Be One with the White Light, Because There Is No Dark Side, Luke" subtitled: "The Absolutely, Completely Comprehensive Guide to Everything Possible that a Witch Needs to Know to cast Any Spell at All"
BONUS! Order now, and we'll send you our exclusive Fill In The Blanks Book of Light! All the spells you'll ever need, and YOU fill in the names and dates! Quality softcover binding.
All packaged attractively in a lovely carry-case, which unfolds to become your altar cloth.
Rush out and get yours today!
-- by René Friberg, aka RaeVynn Sands
And the ever popular Light Bulb Jokes
How many Chaos magicians does it take?They don't need to--they are used to working in the dark.
How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb?
Who cares!
How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into.
And now I direct you to some damn funny products!
CernunnosT-Shirt by Vermorlian |
Zen Drud Button by PaganChick |
Taste Religion T-Shirt by Youniquepagan |
PS: All product images are from amazing etsy.com sellers who have been notified. If you are so inclined, please click through and check out their wares.
PPS: Enter to win one handmade item up to $15 in value from a pagan-run small business here.
"Battery-operated Candles" Ha!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm so getting that t-shirt!
I will admit, I have use an electronic fireplace as the South altar once, complete with flipping the switch when calling, lol
DeleteI am still laughing! Great items Kat!! Thank you so much!!! I like your electronic fireplace ;o)
ReplyDeleteSandy, it was wicked funny :)
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